


Soul-switched

by SilentOrange



Category: Gintama
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Soul Switch Arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6697897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentOrange/pseuds/SilentOrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scenes that might have occurred off-screen in the soul switch arc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Day

He fought his way back to consciousness, like swimming out of a great stifling depth.  His head felt muzzy, and with it a sense of wrongness, as if his skin didn't fit right.  The room didn't smell right either.  A faint sweet fruity scent mixed with unfamiliar notes.  He grabbed the alarm clock to check the time, and stared in confusion at the unfamiliar justaway clock.  6:15.  He could relax for another 15 before doing his morning routine, exercises, shower, breakfast, morning meeting, inspection. No, wait, there would be no inspection, no meeting with the men.  No more familiar routine.  He covered his eyes and rubbed at the temples.  Surely it was all a dream. But no, the strange clock, the unfamiliar bare room, instead of his elegantly furnished one back at Shinsengumi headquarters, everything lined up.

He groaned as he got up off the futon.  His body just didn't feel right, he hadn't felt that way since his teen years, when he was having growth spurts, the awkwardness and clumsiness, as if his body changed overnight. _Guess it did,_ he thought bitterly.   _Damn that curly moron._

He scrubbed his eyes and went looking for the bathroom.  

Later at the sink, he stared at the reflection.  Not *his* reflection.  No no no no.  The surly face looking back with half lidded red eyes and slack cheeks made his spirits sink further.  He slapped his cheeks and made faces at the mirror.  Ugh.  And the rats’ nest on his head.  He tried to brush it out, which resulted in a puffy afro kind of thing. No, it's better not to think about it. How the hell do you make curly hair look decent? He didn't have the first idea.  But his usual method of brushing clearly was not the way to go.   _I knew it, that slacker never brushes his hair,_ he huffed in irritation.  Next he got his hair wet and tried to make it lay smooth.  It worked okay until it dried.  He sighed and then had an idea - some of the Shinsengumi guys used things like styling gels, maybe that freelancer did too.  It must take something strong to get that crazy mess to behave.  But no, searches of the bathroom and kitchen yielded nothing.  He added another item to buy to his mental list. 

6:45.  He opened the closet and stared in disbelief at the row of identical outfits, black shirts and pants, white yukatas that guy was always wearing. He closed it again and then reopened, just in case.  They were still there.

_Well that makes it easy,_ he thought. _I can’t wear the wrong clothes by mistake._  He cautiously opened the drawer looking for underwear, his eyes assaulted by the loud colors. _And here I thought it was your way of wearing yukata that was weird..._  He gingerly lifted out a pair of boxers with pink and red hearts and hastily put it back.  In the end he settled for a pink pair with what looked like white polka dots.   _Are these marshmallows?_ He wondered suspiciously.  

The rest of the clothes were more straightforward.  Finally he put on the white yukata, fastened the belts, then pulled his right arm out of the sleeve.   _Is that how he drapes it? No, that doesn’t look quite right.  Damn it!  How does he do it again?  How hard can it be to imitate that idiot?!_ He spent 10 minutes in front of the mirror trying to get the sleeve to hang right, finally gave up.

7:03.  By this time he could no longer deny his craving for a cigarette. He opened the pack he had in his pocket from the day before.  Only a couple left.  Damn, everyone would surely catch on if he keeps smoking his usual Mayoboros…  he rifled through the desk drawers feverishly, searching for something that wasn’t candy. _This is hopeless,_ he thought, _this asshole doesn’t smoke after all.  How could he possibly understand my suffering._  But, in the back of the lowest desk drawer, among a mess of some sort of scraps of paper he found an old looking dusty kiseru pipe.   _This will do.  This fits his style better.  I just have to buy some tobacco._  He wondered what the story of that kiseru was as he wiped it down and blew out the dust.

He opened the window and lit up, inhaling the smoke hungrily and closing his eyes.   _Okay, it’ll be okay._  The cigarette, while calming, didn’t last long.  He stubbed it out and made his way back to the kitchen to scrounge up some breakfast, not without misgivings.  Indeed, the fridge did not hold much beyond strawberry milk, pudding cups, and a few eggs.  He did find a cooking pot of dubious cleanliness and some rice.  Once it was cleaned to his satisfaction, he started the rice cooking.

7:15.  He went to the convenience store to pick up a few things.  He stared for a long while at the mayonnaise shelf.   _I can do this,_ he thought, _I can smoke, but they’ll definitely get suspicious if I eat my usual food.  I can do it.  It’s just temporary.  I’ll get this sorted out in no time._

8:05.   As he was dishing up some rice for breakfast, he heard shuffling in one of the closets.  A half-asleep Kagura emerged, along with the huge white shape of Sadaharu, following her nose to the kitchen.   _How did they both fit in there?_ He wondered absently, but without any real surprise.  

“Gin-chaaaan, you’re up already?!  I’m ready for breakfast!”

“Of course I’m up! Don’t you know what time it is?  Breakfast is ready.”

“Huh?  Where is my egg?  You didn’t forget my egg, Gin-chan?”

“Go get your own egg.  And go walk that mutt when you’re done eating.  He needs his exercise.”

Sadaharu’s eyes opened even wider and he whined quietly.

“But Gin-chaaannn!!!  Sadaharu likes you to give him his morning walk!”

“What! No way, brat!  Take some responsibility.”

“Is that the way to talk to your mother!?  You disappoint me so.”

“Ugh.  Just do it!”

Some time passed as they argued while Sadaharu watched quietly from the corner.

8:35.  Shinpachi walked in.  

“Do you know what time it is!!!? It’s already 8:35:54.”

***


	2. A mysterious visitor at night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating the tags just in case... This is really short, sorry, i think chapter length will vary as inspiration strikes.

At night something disturbed his sleep. He woke up to find himself embraced by someone smelling of forest trees and something faintly floral in the dark room. Stunned and uncoordinated from deep sleep he didn’t move for a moment, but the mysterious companion realized that he was awake.

“Oh Gin-san!” a feminine bedroom voice said. “I’m sorry I woke you. Please punish me for my impertinence. Here!” A hard smooth handle found its way into his hand.

“What?” he mumbled stupidly. He must react quickly, to avoid suspicion. Did that permhead have a lover? Who was this? He must act natural, but… he wasn’t Gintoki, he could not do those kinds of things with some random person he didn’t even know! “I’m trying to sleep here! Go ‘way,” he grumbled, tossing away whatever the mysterious object was. He just didn't want to know.

“You’re so gentle with me tonight, oh Gin-san, let me love you!”

“Go ‘way! ‘m not in the mood,” he hedged for more time, trying for a more forceful tone.

“Alright alright. But all you have to do is call if you want me to come back. I’m always ready to obey your command!” The entangling arms withdrew, and the mysterious body disappeared after a moist kiss, which landed on his chin as he instinctively jerked away.

He lay on the futon, tense, waiting for something to happen. But the night remained quiet. _Did that work?_ he wondered.

Fueled with adrenaline he had trouble going back to sleep. _That was close! What’s going on here? What sort of love life is this curly haired pervert leading here? No wonder he gets on so well with Sougo… And, wait a damn minute! with those kids right there in the house?!_

He checked and re-checked all the doors and window locks in the room. Come to think of it, he never heard the woman leave, never heard any sound of opening or closing doors or windows. He sighed and paced around the room pondering the mystery, checking every nook and cranny. The predawn birds began to chirp before he succumbed to exhaustion and dozed off again.

*

In the back of the closet Sarutobi blushed and sighed as she reran the encounter through her head. _Yes, he seemed less quick to reject me in the middle of the night like this. This may be a worthwhile strategy… I will have to try this again. Oh sweet Gin-san! But why did you smell of pipe smoke? Ah, no matter... Soon we will be together forever!  
_


	3. A new leaf

It had been an awful morning. He still felt odd in this body, though he was getting used to it and his wider shoulders. He only sideswiped the door frame once that day. What he couldn’t get used to was the discomfort in his belly. His stomach rumbled and guts churned. He had already eaten lunch, but the hollow feeling remained. He wanted… no, needed, that smooth rich feeling, that luscious flavor… His eyelashes lowered as he imagined it sliding along his tongue and rolling around in his mouth. He salivated and swallowed convulsively. His belly spasmed again. He shook himself, _no, this is making things worse, I mustn’t think about it._ How many days has it been? He had tried to eat one of the pudding cups in the fridge instead, but after a couple of mouthfuls gave up on that, the sweet taste turning his stomach even worse.

He paced around the room and pulled the kiseru out of his sleeve to distract himself. A puff of smoke provided fleeting satisfaction, but he burned through the bowl all too quickly. He cracked his knuckles and went outside.

“Is there a new job, Shachou?” As if on cue Shinpachi appeared at the front entrance, back straight, standing at attention. “Kagura-chan is still working on the earlier errand, sir, but I’m ready to go!”

“Ah, no, I just have something I need to do.”

“Let me take care of it, Shachou!”

“No, it’s really fine, I can take care of this..”

“But, Shachou!..” 

“I said I’ve got it!! Now go clean out the toilet if you need something to do!”

After extricating himself, he descended tiredly down the stairs to the street. Catherine made a sour face as he passed her by.

He walked along thinking. It felt like the same old thoughts were wearing a track in his brain, going round and round in circles. But he still couldn’t think of anything to do. He looked up finding that he had wandered to the place of the collision with the truck again. He’d been over and over this street, but there were just no clues to be found. He rubbed his forehead in frustration. _Think! Think! Does that moron have a smaller brain? Is the reduced brain capacity affecting me? Why can’t I come up with what to do about this? How can I go back to normal like this?_ He realized that he was pulling his hair and made the conscious effort to release and untangle his fingers. Even the homeless guy in thick round glasses on the corner was starting to give him a side-eye.

He stopped his habitual movement to stick his hands in his pockets and rested them in the sleeves instead. Then bent his head forward and walked briskly away.

For a while he followed a familiar patrolling route, but strangely enough, he didn’t run into any Shinsengumi patrols. _Hm,_ he thought absently, _I guess Kondo-san changed the schedule again…_ A little sadness pierced him with an almost physical pain in the chest, and then his guts wrenched again.

 _Ah, I can’t take this anymore... no one is around. No one will know._ He looked around furtively, seeing no familiar faces. Reassured, he walked over to a convenience store on the next block. He stood in front of the mayo shelf, his hands trembling slightly, as he looked around guiltily once again. No one seemed to be watching. He stretched out his hand slowly. It felt like an eternity as his fingers were reaching out to grasp the lovely elegant bottle.

“Oh hey there, Gin-san,” the gravelly voice made him jump in place and hastily withdraw his hand. “Whatcha doing? I got a tip on a sure thing at the horse races today! Wanna come with?”

His face went cold as he turned towards the voice. A disheveled character wearing sunglasses stood in front of him with a friendly smile.

“O-oh, nothing special… H-hhasegawa-san?” His eyes bulged a little, as he recognized the oddly stylish sunglasses.

“Are you not feeling well? You’re looking kinda pale. Here is your strawberry milk.”

“N-no, I think I’m in the mood for something stronger,” he pushed the proffered carton away.

So they ended up sitting on the grass in the quiet part of the park, shaded by the trees from the afternoon sun, passing a paper-wrapped bottle between them.

“You knnow, Hatsu, now, Hatsu was always such a pure soul… such a beautiful soul… how did I ever deserve her…” sniffed Hasegawa, as he intoned, his voice wobbling drunkenly.

“But you know, Hasegawa, you can turnn over a new leafff… Like I did..”

“You did? _hic_ ”

“Yeaaah, I’m a new maannn, I work h-hharrrd to k-keep this shi- shi.. town, clean. The yorozuya, y’know, we can do soo much… sooo much… good. Y’know.” he was having trouble getting his words to come out right, but his companion seemed to be hanging on to every single one.

“You mean, I khhould clean up, annnnd be a rresshpectuble man..?? Annd you would let me be part of the Yorozuya?! You would do tthat fffur me?” 

“Sssshure… you could be kkhaptain of the elll… elllevvnth shquad…” his head wobbled as he tried to focus his eyes.

“I accept! Bbut who’s in the squad? There’s squads in the Yorozuya?” Hasegawa sounded suspiciously sober.

“Ssshure there are… but you ccan recruit your own peeeople, for your ssshquad.” his eyelids felt increasingly heavy, and he yawned.

“Yes. I can see it now! I gotta tell the guys at the homeless camp! We’re gonna do it! I’m so fired up! 11th Squad will be there, at your service! Gin-san? Hey, Gin-san?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I may add more parts to this as I feel inspired. I have some more ideas about what happened behind the scenes in this arc - mostly humorous, not really sure yet whether this will change rating or whether I'll add romantic pairings - I can always change the tags, right?


End file.
